Sun Dancer

Fibonacci art

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Is Jesus
an ego maniac?
Like father
like son?
So much worship desired.
I bought the candle
and drank the blood.

Sometimes
the veil is thin
and my mind bleeds
letting in
I saw a star
falling fast.
Lucifer’s might
in my grasp.
To be a god
was that the song?
or was it to serve
and right the wrong?
Grail knight,
bleeding swan,
Long forgotten
forest fawn.

Stone,
if i had a poem to describe you
it would simply be
imperturbable.
Washed with the blood
of many species,
by the wind and rain.
Do you cry?
Or are my tears
stone itself.
Suffering, insufferable.

Wrinkles in Stein

Rocks rest for centuries but still whisper. Tears leave crystal stains. Roots intertwine, embracing interwoven memories. The echoes are heard from caves below, the silent songs that only the stones remember.

She was pretty
too pretty
but not like my llama
so cuddly
so warm.

She talked of jesus
I love him
but my llama
so cuddly
so warm.

Who loves you?
he does
in the rough times
so cuddly
so warm

I lost him
thought I was special
missing my llama
so cuddly
so warm

refrain:
[ climbs to the sky
doesn’t ask why
just loves all day
kissing sorrows away  (my llama)]

Spirituality, Scams, and Scorges

I’m an ardent believer in building utopias, despite believing that most utopias are less than that in practice. Many of the most interesting cases fall into the ‘cult’ category whereby people believe they are building or living in literal utopias, often with some guru-like character and in which the normal critical response methods are “attenuated” to put it mildly.

From my observation, many people want a cause and once they have left enough behind in their life to embrace it, they will then often ruthlessly suppress any information which would undermine their new life’s purpose. For example (something I have observed), assume you leave the rest of your life to join a religious movement, then find out that there are some unseemly details of the leadership, the typical response mechanism of leadership is to make sure no one finds out. This is because, among other things, the cost of that knowledge becoming public invalidates all of the decisions of the members. This is true of both religions and political movements, some of which have reached massive scale.

One commonality is that in the process of being “enlightened,” “alien,” “more spiritual,” or “having the right political ideology,” people tend to become more antinomian. In some ironic juxtaposition, the “better” you are the less normal morality and rules apply to you. Usually this happens with hyperfocus on a particular platform, you must ‘embrace X’ to their satisfaction, or you are evil and any means necessary can be doled out on you as righteous vindication.

 “Sexual misconduct” is one of the most frequently arising thing in the hippie versions of these things, partially because everyone wants sex, and a spiritually that includes it is a welcome respite from more traditional means, this naturally attracts all of the most suspect people into the mix, including those themselves traumatized. Additionally many of the substances used in these circles are intentional lapses from the normal rational cognitive critical feedback context and are deliberately used to transport people away from ‘normality’ and into a state of ‘absolute freedom.’ Naturally, as in other cultic areas, abuses are usually hidden away, despite lip service.

What is needed? A scorge? In general, watchdog groups to be able to counsel people who fall victim to these techniques. it often starts at the individual level with people who are unable to critically process their own behavior and then take on an ego exaltation status believing they are “above” and then effectively immune to any sort of critical feedback. This is one of the key dangers of any “kundalini” experience outside a strict master-disciple lineage where in any legitimate buddhistic or yogic tradition one of the master’s duties is to curtail any egoic explosion on the part of the disciple, often by hard and grueling labor.

In general, the frequency among these types of “scams” among the faithful is cause for each to watch and realize that any sort of spiritual or ideological wrapper is likely to be an egoic-exaltation technique and come with the baggage of ethical deficiencies in other areas, often with deadly consequences if one is to remain in proximity.

My general conclusion is that continued personal humility and leading by example is the only ultimate solution, insofar as people who are drawn by pure service will ultimately come to the purer source, even if the process is longer and many people are lead astray by manifestations of loud ego along the way.

Loners

To some degree this tumble-log represents the degree to which I am a loner. Some artistic musings, put up for whoever to see, yet left to a corner of the web where there are no legions of fans. My slightly more successful online identity (http://www.instagram.com/touchmedeeply/) only became “successful” because someone else posted regularly and because, in all likelihood, it leaned towards the pornographic. I am uncomfortable making somewhat of a transition to a public figure, but, perhaps, it is inevitable. I can only hope I retain an element of critical self-examination and peers which help me improve my own thought patterns.